Preggers?

So I went to the doctors today. Uni Doctors. And honest to god, two thirds of the waiting room population were visibly pregnant. Which means that it was likely that two thirds of the remaining un-visibly pregnant waiting room population were probably invisibly pregnant. and it makes you think.... why the hell would you get pregnant at uni? Surely that's just plain irresponsible? And secondly... HOW the hell did you get pregnant at uni?

Ok... so you're probably thinking that that's daft question. University is all about sex, of course you're likely to get pregnant. Well actually.... no. When you get to uni the very first thing you are taught is that every single other uni student probably has the clap, or syph, or AIDS, or scabies, or herpes, or some sort of green gooey discharge, and with that briefing you are given ten THOUSAND free condoms. You then live through your first week of uni thinking "Meh, they were probably lying, and I'm far to pissed to wrestle with a condom now". You then spend you're second week of uni worrying about the fact that it feels like you're pissing razorblades, and then the next 6 months of uni as that 'Guy/girl who slept with that guy/girl and got the clap/syph/AIDS etc....' And your sex life is OVER at uni.

But if you were sensible and tried to wear the freshers week condoms, (WHICH by the way... are NOT too small for you, that is a design so that the thing doesn't fall off...because it's not supposed to fit it like a fur coat... you fucking dick heads), then you probably live by them, because you know the above mentioned guy who slept with that girl who had the clap/syph/AIDS etc. and don't wanna end up like them. AND because you constantly get given more free condoms!!! Chlamydia screening? No thank you. But you get a free Chuppa Chups! No, seriously, I'm fine. But you get a big bag of FREE CONDOMS! ....

Yes... I know what you're thinking... you would have jumped straight in at the lolly pop. That's what I did. Plus my mate did it before and got a keyring too.... and it GLOWED IN THE FUCKING DARK.... which coincidentally... the condom also did. Which is something else I don't get... surely you put on a condom to put it IN somewhere.... where you're not gona be able to see it??? And surely having your/your partners dick glowing bright green is a bit of a turn off.... and would look all too similar to the STI's that you're trying to prevent yourself catching?! SERIOUSLY FUCKED UP!


And whilst in the waiting room (jumping back a bit) One lady came over to a pregnant woman and said "What are you here for? You're not due back for another 2 weeks." Turns out she'd popped in so she could get a form signed and be given some free food vouchers..... The nurse lady said "we don't make appointments just to fill out forms" and the woman said "yeah... but I'm missin out on money then ain't I?". Nurse " Do you work?" Woman "No." "Does your partner work?" "No." "You know these forms can be sent off right up until the baby is born, there's no rush.""Yeah but I'm missin out on money then ain't I?". I'll tell you what, I felt sorry for that poor child that hadn't even come into existence yet. So I went up to that woman and I punched her in the womb. Then she couldn't get her vouchers because she didn't qualify. Sucks to be her. Selfish bitch.