I went to the sex shop.

Played 'I went to the supermarket and I bought' with my friends today... but with a sex shop, and this is what we got...

I went to the sex shop and I bought: Anal lube, butt plugs, a cock ring, a dildo, ear muffs, fanny flaps, gash implants, high heels, interesting pornos, jizz cream, kangeroo porn, lee's first porno, marshmellow flavour condoms, a necrophilia starter kit, orgasm juice, a penis enlarger, Queerology (the karma sutra for gays), a rhino shaped dildo, sexarama2 on DVD, a tranny, an ugly sex doll, vaginal exorcism (by kristian slater in 2005) , a wanker, an x-ray of someones penis, a yoyo shaped like boobs, and a zoology starter kit (a how to guide on how monkeys have sex in the wild in winter.)

Aren't we creative?

As much as I love him....

So I had a little drinky poo and a catch-up with a mate today. I know it's hard to believe I have mates... but sometimes people surprise you. Plus I paid him to be my friend.

ANYWAY. Enough about my social failure. We were talking and I realised he kept saying one phrase that was making me more and more angry...

"Well.... yes and no"

NO. THAT IS NOT A PHRASE. THAT IS A PHYSICAL IMPOSSIBILITY. I refuse to take that as an answer to any question I put to you, mainly because my questions are SUPER FRIGGIN' HARDCORE and need direct responses so I can fire more questions at you. Conversation work much better that way. If I ask you a question that has one of two answers and you give me both answers... I'm likely to not really understand WHAT THE FUCK YOUR ON ABOUT and get very very ANNOYED.

If, when he bought me a drink, which he did, because I kept beating him until he agreed to it, he had asked me 'What do you want to drink?', which again, he did, imagine his reaction if I had responded with:

"Well....coke and lemonade and blackcurrent and orange and lime and beer and wine and vodka and sherry and whiskey and rum and sambuca and absynth and water and J2O and brandy and port and a WKD and a VK and an alcohol free becks."

Clearly that's a FUCKING STUPID response.... NO-ONE drinks alcohol free becks.