Take that Take That...

I gotta admit it. Take That's new album is as lovable as a miniture kitten riding a miniture tortoise and mewing. And for this reason Take That, I FUCKING HATE YOU.

Now, my music taste generally sucks. When people are listening to the 'in' tunes, I tend to be jamming out to soundtracks from video games and movies... on my own... in my room... pretending to dance with this guy called Pete... but remember, he's not real (i'm 'on my own, in my room" remember?! keep up you twat!)

So when i downloaded Take That's album with the intention of going "Whats all the hype about? oh look, generic boy band songs, i wanna kill myself. DELETE", i was having a generically nice day.

Then i listened to the said album.

AND IT WAS FUCKING INTENSE!!!! What the fuck Take That!? And so now my life is ruined....

I played the album again REALLY LOUDLY, and my house mate heard. She ran upstairs, realised it was take that and then ran down the stairs screaming in pure horror, falling and hitting her head. Because of incredible loudness of my music I couldn't hear her fall, so it was fine cos I didn't care. Then because of my excessive jumping around to the AWSOMENESS of the album, I got hot, so I opened my window... Then all the neighbours heard and were so horrified by the amount of take that-ness that they called the police. When the police came around, I couldn't hear the sirens over my AWSOMELY loud music, so I just kept raving, leading the police to lob a smoke grenade through my window. I was then both blinded and aware that something weird was happening, so I headed down my AWSOME stairs in my AWSOME house listening to my UBER-AWSOME album, and because I couldn't see anything, fell over my unconscious and 'brain-bleeding all over the floor' housemate, smashing my nose on the wall. By this time, the police were on high alert because of the continuous Take That factor in the street, and the SWAT van came out. So SWAT men were shimmying up to my window, my nose was covered in blood and my housemate was dead on the floor. But did I care? HELL NO! Because the album hand just finished... and then STARTED AGAIN! :-D :-D

The police barged down my door, came in and grabbed one of my arms. I was jumping around with a HUGE smile on my face. The combination of smoke bomb, blue flashing lights and blood dripping down my face created an incredible rave/mosher type atmosphere. I turned to the policeman and said

"Can you believe this?! It's awsome! But its Take - "

The SWAT men reached my room and exploded my computer. The music stopped. My ears rang and an eerie silence filled my head. I entered a horrific rage...

I grabbed the policeman in the bollocks and twisted. I then tried to run up the stairs, screaming Take That lyrics to compensate for the lack of music. Tripping once again over my house mate, I fell up the stairs, falling into a SWAT man who was now coming down the stairs. As i fell into his legs, he fell forward on to me. My face smashed into the step, my crotch into my housemates head, and the SWAT man fell on top of me.

I woke up in hospital. I had bandages everywhere. my leg appeared broken, as did my arm. My face was evidently all bandaged up, and my nose felt crunchy. I had a drip, which I assume was giving me some sort of pain relief. I buzzed the nurse immediately and said

"Do you have a copy of Take-That's new album?"

She took my pain relief away. She never gave it back. She's a bitch. I hate her. I hate Take-That.